Keyless

I've thought long and hard about how I want this to look.
I want it to look thoughtful. I want it to look kempt.

If you're going to be reading in my diaries, you're going to have to respect it.
You're going to have to understand that this is what I feel, what I am, it's what I believe.
And you have to accept that your name and face my pop up in my thoughts.
And I'm going to say so when they do.

You are going to have to respect that I'm not going to filter anything here.
If you don't want to know, you don't have to read it.

You can judge all you like.
Essentially, that is the sole purpose of reading someone's most personal thoughts.
Once you know what they really think, you can come back to life and re-evaluate your opinions about that person.

So please. Judge. I don't mind.


But this is my space here to express.
This is my place to heal.

This is my own quiet little area, which is not really quiet at all,
where I can walk around, poke fun, burn, bleed, fall,
and change the pace whenever my little clock says it's time to.
There's no lock on the door.
But.
It's my door :)

It's yours to read and to explore.
It's yours to find a deeper grasp on the reality of the person I really am.
It's yours to psychoanalyze, question, dissect, laugh at, cry with, smoke on, choke down, and swallow.
And it's also yours to look at, hate, click the little red 'x' in the corner, and go on your way without a word.

That is all.

Love it.
Or don't.
I'm not making this for you.

Natalia Om.Xi.