I'm staring at my blog page, reading through old posts and sheepishly realizing that I haven't posted anything since October. I hope you all don't think that means I haven't written since then, but if you do, you wouldn't be too far off base. I write still (of course, I write), but it's nothing to boast of. It's usually in small, broken almost-paragraphs, and typically after about 3 or 4 glasses of wine (wine I enjoy, not wine I drink to just to get my head to shut up). Consequently, this ends up leaving me with some of the most senseless and poorly punctuated pieces since, probably, my lunchbox days.
For those of you who don't already know this, I've also had a very struggle-some past year. It's been a very rough, bumpy road (sorry for the amateurish vocab, haven't written recently!) with a lot of work and little to no play...definitely not the story I want to be writing for my life. I've recently lived in a world of very low creativity, very little inspiration, and a lot of wasted time.
The Deadly Sin of the Year Award goes to.......Sloth!!
That being acknowledged, I'm ready (I think) to get out of this funk and back into my life! I have a lot of upcoming changes that are going to be difficult and highly beneficial. I'm going to be dipping into a lot of new things, some of which may blow your mind, and/or some of which may bore you completely. All of them, however, will be stimulating to me (the point, I think, of this big endeavor called 'Life') and they will boost my imagination, my creativity and my inner fire in ways that have yet to be roused previously.
I wrote a piece a few months ago that I've been hiding away from all of you people in the dark, dusty unknown depths of the 'Documents' folder of my desktop. The piece is written from my perspective of an abusive relationship. This is not to say that any of the incidents that are written did or did not happen exactly, vaguely or at all how they are described. Some of it may be true, some of it may be totally fictional. I find it extremely therapeutic for me to write off this angle. It leaves a lot of room for plenty of descriptive use, and it's easy for me to paint you a picture, my favorite thing to do when I'm writing!
The villain (er, boyfriend) of these pieces will have been inspired by a guy (or multiple guys) I used to date. Let's call him Jason. Whether or not you feel as though you know specifically who may have inspired this character, keep it to yourself please. I didn't write these stories to be questioned or to raise any eyebrows or concerns. They are solely written for the purpose of me to exercise my writing and do not, I repeat, DO NOT in any way, shape, form, matter, case, time (et cetera) represent the relationship I am currently in.
My current boyfriend's name is Shawn. That's his real name. He's an amazing man for those of you who don't know this (which may be many as Shawn is a very private person), who is extremely strong-willed and rarely to never swayed. His mind is the most firm and untainted mind I have ever had the priviledge of exploring. He is never trying to meet the standards of society and is never pressured into doing the things he doesn't wish to do. This can make for a sometimes frustrating relationship as you might imagine ;) but it's benefitted me and matured me in ways that I never thought could be possible. He can be very rough around the edges, but his heart is always in the right place. He's just incredible, and has never ever even come close to laying a hand on me. And you can take that to the bank. It's not about him.
Back to what I was saying, these pieces are inspired from true pain, but not necessarily from actual events. The point, in closing, is for me to get some exercise.
Thank you for taking the time to read my note. It's been a long delayed pleasure to write again for an audience. Be on the look out soon for a never-before-read very raw, very graphic prose about my personal views of a very bad, heart-breakingly unhealthy but in the end, highly self-strengthening relationship.
Namaste, folks.
